The Dark Side-Burns

Earlier today, in a galaxy far, far away..... a giddy George Steinbrenner stroked his chin while he watched a clean shaven Johnny Damon address the media, and a blushing Brian Cashman hand the Ex-Nesn correspondant, Michelle, 18 Roses. "First of all, what do you guys think?" Damon said, looking at the cameras while stroking his chin. "Keep on snapping away." Spoken in a true HUMBLE fashion Mr. Damon Bra-vo.




In a surprise turn in events, Johnny decided to have his hair cropped in a mullet-esk style, with razor-sharp sideburns. Now, the hair didn't surprise me, but honestly, the sideburns are a little harsh.

Let us take a moment to compare various sideburns:

There is of course the familiar
Mark Bellhorn Sideburns:


The Classic Elvis Sideburns:


And The Johnny Depp Sideburns (From Hell):

Now It looks like Johnny Damon is going for the Johnny Depp look, ironically enough he chooses the hair/facial hair style from the movie "From Hell".

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And though it may be hard to believe, Life does go on outside of the Johnny Damon Show in NY. Such as the fact that the Red Sox acquired Catcher John Flaherty who will either spend his time in Pawtucket or as a Knuckleball specialst. Though indications seem to point to Kelly Shoppach as a replacement to Mirabelli.

So let this be the last time we utter the name Johnny Damon on this blog, for with the hair goes his dignity, red soxness, and everything that made him endearing to our beloved Red Sox Nation.

"To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god." Or "Jesus" in this case.

-Shannon